President “Go-to-guy” plays hardball

Wake up call for President Go-to-Guy

Wake up call for President Go-to-Guy

It is sort of sad when any 60-something year old man begins dyeing his hair and wearing lifts in his shoes like Parish President Kenny Matassa started doing this year? The initial, instinctual human reaction is sympathy, and the urge to root for a guy so obviously burdened by feelings of inadequacy, heightened by his cringe-inducing inability to enunciate past the monosyllabic.  It only seems like he should be hanging from a charm bracelet, because Kenny “the Go-to-Guy” Matassa, plays hardball.

We’ve heard rumors since his election that Matassa and those close to him urged advertisers and prospective advertisers to refrain from doing business with Pelican Post.  Those rumors were confirmed recently.  We empathize with all those parish employees coerced to support Matassa’s campaign and toe the party line by threats of job loss or demotion (and there are many).

Seeking satisfaction, we emailed Matassa:

“Dearest Parish President:

I have spoken with an advertiser of this humble publication who leveled a serious allegation against you.  I was told that you, Parish President, pressured this individual to discontinue advertising with Pelican Post.  I must say, this sort of Machiavellian tactic comes as a surprise given your professions of Christian virtue and selfless sacrifice for the betterment of your fellow citizens in Ascension Parish.

While such treachery may be business as usual in your administration (and from what we hear from inside the Governmental Complex walls this perfidy is par for the course), it is unseemly for a man whose quotidian perambulations are accompanied by the Prayer Book tucked neatly in his back pocket.  Which scripture passage did you model such behavior after?

It is, to put it mildly, disappointing and doubly so considering those inspiring words you uttered on January 4; “The parish leadership team is committed to serving citizens, not feathering our political hat for the next election. We will ALWAYS do what is right; not what is self-serving…”

I, hereby, request a face to face meeting with you, Parish President, at which time I will provide any details necessary to refresh your memory and so that I may ask you if the above-described chicanery is true.  I’ll make myself available at your convenience.  I still hold out hope the most damning accusations against your administration are mere exaggerations.  Such optimism is in short supply around the parish, but I’m sure you already know that.

I wish only to assist you in another inaugural pledge; “moving all actions from the dark to the light of day.”

Eagerly awaiting your reply,

Wade Petite, Owner/Editor

P.s.  Any chance you might add Pelican Post back to the list of press release recipients?  I’m sure we agree that the people have a right to know…after all, it was you who declared “Secrets are now, effectively, outlawed.”

We expect the overture to be ignored.  Matassa’s bungling attempts at spin-doctoring tend only to further  embarrass himself and Ascension Parish; even with the assistance of his Chief of Staff Kyle Gautreau (seated to the Go-to-Guy’s right in the photo above) and whoever writes (we hear it’s Billy Arcement) those preposterous statements which Matassa can’t read anyway.

Recall his gibberish-filled phone interview with WBRZ in the hopeless attempt to explain the firing of former Planning Director Ricky Compton.  It went over like lead balloon forcing Matassa to pen (sure he did) an even more ludicrous letter in which he “wrote”:

“Frankly, I did a terrible job explaining…I apologize for not being as articulate as I should have been during the TV interview.  I will never win an award for public speaking, but that should not imply a lack of integrity in my leadership.”

Matassa’s oratorical ineptitude, while painfully obvious, is less injurious to the public trust than his failure, or refusal, to speak the simple truth.  And so there is no misunderstanding, we do not merely “imply a lack of integrity” in Kenny Matassa.