Painter (right) socializing with lame-duck Parish councilman Corey Orgeron two weeks prior to 2019 elections. Since deleted from Sue N Jared Beiriger Facebook page, hundreds had already screenshotted image.
Certain guys, lacking basic social skills necessary for comfortable interaction in the social media milieu, where rules of engagement are tacitly accepted by voluntary participation, never get the joke. Fans of Ascension Parish Department of Memes appreciate its often acerbic, always irreverent, take-it-or-leave and the Meme Guy could, very literally, not care less content. Candidate for Ascension Parish President, Murphy J. Painter is not among its legion of loyal and ardent followers, and the joke’s on him.
The setup: Mark “I don’t answer to Mike, but you can call me Meme Guy” Belgard signed up to qualify for the parish presidency alongside Painter and the incumbent, Clint Cointment. From the outset, as Belgard raised his qualifying fee from donors to his page, the Meme Guy continually asked supporters to vote for Cointment…
regularly satirizing at Painter’s expense. Nothing unique about that, Meme Guy just does it better than just about everyone (excepting, of course, the self-parody that is Murphy J. Painter).
While it would have been interesting to see what slice of the vote he could have garnered in the name of comedy, Belgard opted out of the October 14 election writing (in all seriousness it seems):
The legitimate support and the amount of pledged votes I have received is insane. I am wildly unqualified. I’ve indicated early on that I don’t actually want to win. I would make things worse, as I have no idea what I would be doing. To elect me to the parish’s highest office would be irresponsible and detrimental to the future of the “Best Parish to Live In.”
Should I stay in the race, I could pick up 10-20% of the vote, who knows. I could force a runoff, wasting the time and money of legitimate candidates who actually want to win. I’d like the man currently in charge to stay there, and I don’t want to be a legitimate threat to his chances.
No harm, no foul and everyone seemed to have a good laugh. Time to move on, right?
Not so fast.
Sunday morning, a day after chastising President Cointment for riding in a golf cart at Lamar Dixon Expo Center, Painter posted the following diatribe.
Birds of a FeatherEarly today, as I was feeding my 94-year-old mother breakfast, being the Facebook Queen that she is, she alerted me to a Pelican Post article announcing Mark Belgard’s exit from the Parish President’s race and proclaiming his undying support for Clint Cointment. Wow, what a surprise on two fronts. The first that Pelican Post and Cointment’s Campaign manager Wade Petite would be posting this story on its blog and the second that Belgard would endorse my opponent. Please read any of Belgard’s exposes on his “Ascension Meme” page you will see what kind of brain trust we are dealing with. But birds of a feather flock together and political birds do the same. Pelican Post Wade Petite, Dustin Clouatre and Clint Cointment took a secret Dustin Clouatre taping of a business conversation at Hughe’s Insurance when I was invited to talk to this insurance agency about the possibility of doing insurance with the Parish Government, and cut, rearranged, and pasted my words back to try and make people believe I had committed some horrible crime in 1992 as the Chief Deputy of the Sheriff’s Office. All lies because I was not working at the Sheriff’s Office in 1992. I was employed by the Justice Department then. Ironically earlier in their game, Petite and Clouatre acting for Cointment, after he was beat by Kenny Matassa, somehow got the DA’s Office to indict and try Matassa based on the same type of unverified secret tapings engineered by Petite and Clouatre ruining Matassa’s political career. Matassa was found not guilty and I will stand up and say Matassa should have never been indicted at all. So back to today. Cointment has rewarded Dustin Clouatre with millions of dollars of insurance business, (Dustin needs a new yacht, speedboat, airplane, or fund Blind River Bar) all without council approval and now Clouatre also has the Parish Garbage business. Beginning to sound like a Soprano’s episode, eh? Now Clint owes Mike Belgard too. If you want Mike Belgard, Wade Petite and Dustin Clouatre to determine the future of Ascension Parish then an honest man like me does not stand a chance. I am counting on you all to see the truth. Please stand up for your family’s future and prove an honest man can get elected. Thank you.
RANDOM THOUGHTS:
- Recordings in question were entered into evidence at multiple legal proceedings. The Rules of Evidence preclude any “unverified” recording.
- Ascension has not paid, and will never pay, any company “millions of dollars of insurance business.” It is a practical impossibility.
- Your writer has never enjoyed Mr. Clouatre’s “new yacht, speedboat, airplane, or Blind River Bar” though it all sounds great.
- The Sopranos is overrated. There, we said it.
- Just remember, it’s not a lie…if you believe it.
- Any team we’re a part of would draft the Meme Guy in the first round, can’t wait to see what he does with this material. Give us a call.
- Adding Ascension Parish Department of Memes to one’s enemies list with an election two months away is dumb politics.
Grievance personified, the three-time election also-ran whines about a recording wherein he, himself alludes to various heinous crimes. Painter possesses an unedited, unfiltered copy of the 1:12:00 recording, produced to him in the discovery phase of ongoing litigation, and could publish it any time he chooses. We challenge him to do so.
Let the good people of Ascension Parish hear it for themselves, Mr. Painter. We dare you.
As to former parish president Kenny Matassa…
sounded like bribery to the Ascension Parish Grand Jury that indicted him. But for the inept prosecution by AG Jeff Landry’s office, and a string of curious rulings from the bench, an actual trial of Matassa’s crimes could have been conducted. It is no coincidence that three-term judge, Thomas Kliebert decided to call it a career instead of facing the voters in 2020.
If Murphy Painter desires a re-litigation of these sordid matters in the court of public opinion, making it a prominent feature of his fourth failed election bid, we will be more than happy to accommodate him. The dwindling number of Painter supporters will be the ones to pay the price (just not in campaign contributions).
Not that he cares one iota about any of that. Glutton for punishment, desperate for any hint of relevance no matter who gets caught in the crossfire, Painter signed up for another electoral thrashing. And the Meme Guy has yet to pick up the gauntlet, as he most assuredly will.
Buckle up.
Loading ...