At left is former parish president, Kenny Matassa, wagging a finger at perpetual also-ran Murphy Painter.
EDITOR’s WARNING: While what follows is probably a complete waste of my (and certainly your) time, it is one of the guilty pleasures we cannot resist. Deflating the festering pustule disfiguring Ascension’s body politic, i.e. exposing Murphy Painter for the sniveling, whining, whimpering grievance machine that he is, it’s one of our things. His continued attacks on your local blogger, all while hiding behind his nonagenarian mother’s skirts, will continue to elicit rejoinder.
Earlier this week Painter mused:
The biggest question I have been asked is am I serious about this election. My answer back is certainly I am serious. I certainly am not doing this so that the no class Cointment Bloggers can get on Facebook and call my 94-year-old mother names.
No one not named Murphy Painter has mentioned his “94-year-old mother” on Facebook, not that we’ve seen anyway.
What kind of man does that? The same kind of man who continues throwing former parish president, Kenny Matassa, into the mix against his will (see below).
For some reason, Painter thought it would be a good idea to seek Ascension’s parish presidency in 2023, after failing miserably in 2019. No visible means of support, no campaign signs going up around the parish, a lawsuit targeting the guy who doubled up his voter total four years ago set for Summary Judgment hearing on October 2, fodder for satire and rumor sites non-stop…why?
Already facing long odds against the popular incumbent, inexplicably, Painter further diminished his chances by choosing to run as an Independent when Ascension continues to redden. Taking the job as Dempsey Lambert’s bedroom birddog (his private investigation firm is called Sundogs, LLC by the way), a decade after losing his gig as Louisiana’s top alcohol and tobacco regulator when branded as a stalker of sorts…those jokes write themselves.
On Monday Painter testified for Lambert in the futile challenge to the candidacy of Lambert’s opponent, Todd Varnado.
Moments before Judge Steven Tureau gaveled court into session, Corey Orgeron plopped his considerable backside in the pew-style seating directly behind your writer. Among the dozens and dozens of individuals serving on Ascension’s parish council over the the last 28 years, Orgeron disgraced himself so spectacularly as to render a host of other miscreants seem civil in the comparison. Painter and Orgeron deserve each other.
https://pelicanpostonline.com/murphy-painter-grievance-tour-2023-rolls-on/
As we are not in the habit of suffering fools, Orgeron’s company was dispensed with in short order; but not in time to avoid Murphy Painter joining the uncivil discourse. Painter commented on the, arguably, too casual courtroom attire of your writer (because shorts are allowed for non-litigants and it was 100 degrees outside). Not unschooled in the art of verbal jousting, your writer lambasted Painter as, “the laughingstock you are, and have been for some time.”
Painter recounted the conversation on his campaign social media page the next day. His mama’s skirts not sufficient protection, Painter dragged Matassa into his delusion, writing:
Yesterday, in a court case that I had to decide whether to stay in the shadows or stand for the truth once again, I choose to stand. Before court I tried to start a casual conversation with my opponents #1 Political advisor and blogger Wade Petite. In front of witnesses Wade began telling me how stupid everyone thinks I am for getting in the race and that they are doing everything they can to keep me from getting any funding, by threats I am assuming.
Then came the same threats that he made to me before the last election, which was they are going to destroy me the same way they did Kenny Matassa. We, emphasis on we, meaning he Dustin Clouatre and Clint Cointment, are going to smear your reputation so bad you will be sorry for ever making the decision to run again. Then he said the Cointment Juggernaut Political Machine is going to destroy me.
The witnesses he refers to are Corey Orgeron and his client, Dempsey Lambert, who was eavesdropping all the while. Both of them simpered away like the cowards they are when it was pointed out that Lambert’s bid to retain his council seat is severely hampered by his association with Murphy Painter…and Corey Orgeron. For once, Painter shut up and slithered away.
But, not before your writer inquired about his 2023 campaign fundraising. Painter claimed to have $100,000 in the bank. We have never salivated so effusively, the prospect of reviewing his requisite 30-day disclosure so delectable.
Painter resumed his nonsensical rantings under oath, appearing as Dempsey Lambert’s lead witness. Unsurprisingly, Judge Tureau threatened Painter with contempt if he continued rambling on from the witness seat.
As an added attraction to Monday’s courtroom circus…
Court rules Varnado is a candidate, dismissing Lambert’s lawsuit
Matassa showed up to watch his pals’ embarrassing defeat. The diminutive former politico was none-too pleased, chastising Painter outside the sparkling new courthouse once the debacle concluded. In our cordial conversation lasting ten minutes, one thing became abundantly clear, Matassa wants no part of Murphy Painter’s campaign and resents being a sideshow in his grievance tour.
Painter, hiding behind a column all the while, heard every word of Kenny Matassa’s lamentation. As evidenced by his social media rant the next day, Painter does not care. Seeing these former allies turn on one another, “the Cointment Juggernaut Political Machine” seems more appealing all the time.
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